M’Mom’s Blueberry Muffins
In order to counteract the previous springtime posting of a pumpkin-based recipe, I am going to relate to you all a summertime fruit-based recipe that brought my childhood many, many happy moments. Right now, unless you live in California, blueberries are merely twinkles in their mother-bush’s eye. And while it is possible that this recipe could work with frozen blueberries… fresh ones are just SO GOOD!
Anyway, if you’re feeling guilt about your carbon footprint for buying things from across the country, research indicates there’s virtually no difference at this point in time. (Do NOT interpret this as a sign that I don’t prefer local goods over any other variety, even if they’re a bit more expensive. I’m just saying, there are no blueberries growing in the Midwest right now.) If you can pick your own blueberries, I guess I would suggest that. If you live in the Midwest, either wait to try this recipe, or suck it up and buy California fruit.
Either way, these are the most mouth-watering, juicy, crumbly muffins I have ever come across, and they are WAY better than the crappy ones made for supermarkets across the country—what do they use, dried blueberries? Yuck. So if I want a blueberry muffin, even just one, I make this recipe and give the rest away. They don’t last long in a crowded room. Or even an empty room. And all it takes is a fork and a bowl. And a microwave and a muffin tin and an oven.
First, mix all the dry ingredients (up top) together, except for the extra 1/4 cup flour. That comes in later. Y’know who has a flour sifter? No one. Don’t sift your flour, just make sure there’s no bugs in there before you add it. If you like a bit more spice in your baked goods, add a whole teaspoon of cinnamon in there.
Step two involves something other than a fork and a bowl (I know). Microwave the butter (I use a small bowl or my plastic measuring cup and chop up the butter) for about 40 seconds, or until completely melted. Don’t let it explode in your microwave—butter is not easy to wipe up. And I know that only from other people’s stories, not from my own experiences. Once it’s melted, carve out a little hole in the middle of the dry ingredients and pour the butter, vanilla, and canola oil in the middle. For one glorious moment, you will have a volcano made out of delicious baking ingredients. But only for a moment, because then you mix it all in. This is probably when I would preheat my oven to 375.
After everything is combined but not thoroughly mixed, crack an egg into your 1C measuring cup, then fill it to the brim with milk. Add to your bowl and mix until clumps are gone, but don’t overbeat. Overbeaten muffins are terrible, monstrous things.
Now comes the important (fun) part. Throw your fresh (rinsed) blueberries into a plastic grocery bag. Preferably one that didn’t have raw meat or swiss chard with dirt all over it inside. Also preferably one without many holes. Add the 1/4C remaining flower, and gently shake until your blueberries are dusted with flour. Do not break them. That’s just mean. Pour your blueberries into the batter and GENTLY fold them in using your fork.
Scoop into muffin-liner-lined muffin tins. It depends how huge and overflowing and wonderful you want your muffins to be, but I usually fill my cups almost to the brim. If you’re a delicate person, or you don’t like things that overflow, fill 2/3 of the way.
Now comes the easy part. Cook them until they’re done. My oven usually takes about 18 minutes, so check at 15. They’re ready to rock when the top is ever so slightly browned. Take them out of the oven, and let sit for at least 5 minutes before serving them to people, because blueberries will burn the crap out of your tongue when they just come out of the oven. Eat without anything on them for the full experience—if you’re afraid, put a small patty of butter on. And get on with your bad blueberry self!